Raine & Shine

At a family party.

We’re watching the UFC fight.

Jones vs Belfort.

Commercial break:

Noisy individual conversational noise in the back along with loud dancing music the midst of the barbarically entertaining hype.

Cousin looks at me and whispers something to cousin2.

They look at me.

They laugh hysterically.

I look at them with confusion and shame, saying “pardon?”

They laugh even harder and cousin2 screams “PERFECT example right there!” and reenacts my reaction.

They said I remind me of Zooey, from that show the New Girl.

I’ll take it as a compliment. Yes I am a nerd. Yes I am awkward. But YES I am proud :)

— 8 months ago with 2 notes

#newgirl #zooeydeschanel #pride

Love them.
Miss them.

— 8 months ago with 2 notes

Wanting it ”all”

Lately, it feels as though time is slipping away like sand falling between my fingers. I guess in a way, that is exactly what it’s like when you try ever so desperately to hold onto it; it disintegrates.

It’s my last year of college. My firm avoidance of future related decisions has speedily come to bite me in the end. Now I find myself in a hazy cloud of interests and possibilities while blinded by disbelief and nerve-racking uncertainty. Of course, after panicking over my own thoughts, mental and emotional exhaustion take over and I make fun of myself by saying “why did God bless you with parents that worked hard to give you a world of opportunities? Sheesh!”

I live in a world where practicality disdains passion and time doesn’t get along with opportunity. My heart aches to venture the rest of the world, living as a minimalist, learning, making invaluable connections with a wide array of peoples, and being free to roam the uncertainties of life on my own pace and in my own way. Another part of me wants to seek a career that fulfills my desire to alleviate health inequities and making a difference in people’s lives. I want to heal people physically but also touch their souls by reaffirming there is light amidst the darkness. Joy exists anytime, in any place. The third side of me loves to love and someday I hope to love one man. Love is not euphoria. One day I will CHOOSE to love someone unconditionally under oath. We can travel the world together, sharing my passions and essentially, my life. Then…BABIES. The privilege of bringing life into this world and raising them with hope, aspirations, and so much love.

In a perfect world I can have all three by the time I turn 30. This is not a perfect world. I am not perfect. Things don’t always go according to “plan” or lack thereof. We must ride on, go with the flow and pray that you have the capacity to truly listen and follow His heed.

— 8 months ago with 5 notes

#life #choices #growing up